6013.

It’s 3:47am. No denying it, I’ve been having problems sleeping.

People ask how I am – tired, I reply.

I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. By day, I pack my days with activities, I meet with people I haven’t met in ages, or people I’ve never met before, and most importantly, the people who still love me despite having seen all my flaws. (The most important people, because they never judge.)

I also bury myself in books, or shows, or music or dance, or incessantly checking messages just so I wouldn’t be left to my own thoughts.

But it’s inevitable that at night, when everyone has fallen asleep, thoughts creep in and I can’t do much about them.

I’m forced face them.

It’s strange that someone you spent a good 4 years with becomes a stranger, but it’s been a good reminder that for every person that chooses to walk out of your life are about ten more who have chosen to stay.

And at the end of the day, you’ll be left to your own devices, and you’ll have to count on yourself to find your own way.

The thought of 2015 scares the hell out of me. I enter it with much trepidation.

There are about ten days left to 2014.

It takes 21 days to break or change a habit.

I’m not quite there, but I am bloody determined.

I am going to find myself again.

 

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